just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
