I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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