I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
dude. I can hear the air.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
