Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
