You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
