I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize