I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
