i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize