ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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