I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize