they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
It was confusing and full of hummus
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
