People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
