he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize