i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
