That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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