yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Randomize
