i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
honey bunches of taint.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
