omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
