i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
