I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
dude. I can hear the air.
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