it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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