I'm so fucking centered right now
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize