He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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