I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
