whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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