That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
