My liver just broke up with me...
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
