Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
please come you make the beer taste better
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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