my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
