Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
