this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
