OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
