nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
