Will you blow on my dice?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
