But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
wanna go halves on a baby?
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
My breasts were aching with rage.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
