I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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