At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
