Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
