Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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