Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
