just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
