hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
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