So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize