i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
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