Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I cut my penus on the lid.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
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got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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