Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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