life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize