When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
