The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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