I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
