the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
