You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
It's never too late to be topless.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Randomize
