Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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