here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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