Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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